A Mother’s Story Part Two – The Longest Day.

Posted on July 23, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — Leave a comment

The Longest Day.

We didn’t go home to count tablets. We knew there was no point. We had a medicine cupboard overflowing with medication, unlocked; after all we were three adults and a teenager living in our home. My husband and I both had medical conditions that required daily doses of something. The joys of middle-age!!

Our children had always been told, “you’ll die if you take medicine that doesn’t belong to you!”, “take this and it’ll kill you!” I was always direct and truthful with my children, I never wanted them to be disillioned with life or feel that their parents couldn’t be approached for an honest answer.

A nurse informed us Social Services would be contacted. Did we have a social worker? “No” was our reply. One would be appointed. Our daughter would not be allowed home without the authorities agreeing it was appropriate. We’d no words. Silence and tears. All we were doing in those moments was remembering to breathe.

I remember asking my husband “how are you feeling?”, his response summed it up, even now three months on it’s appropriate, “I feel like someone has taken my heart out with a spade, and it’s gone, there’s just a hole with someone standing in it”

We were asked more questions about tablets in our home. Paracetamol, Ibrofen, Tramadol, Olmetec and Tegretol to name a few. Tegretol was the one that attracted the most interest. This was the one I’d told the girls would kill them if they ever took it. It had come into our house ten years ago. It was to control my epilepsy. It literally saved my life. The doctor disappeared again. My husband and I started googling. My advice looking back to anyone, a little knowledge is a depressing thing!

Shortly afterwards we noticed staff had a piece of paper in their hands when dealing with our child, “what is that?”, “information on Tegretol overdose” came the reply. I was devastated. My medication was to blame. Throughout her treatment since this has been the highest concern, she did want to die.

I’d brought my daughter’s Hudl with us. I opened it up to check the internet for more information on the issues with the overdose. I saw her instagram account open and had a nosy. What I then saw shocked me. I put the Hudl back in my bag. I’d simply no words. How had this happened? I didn’t know. I’d simply trusted her.

At 4pm I remembered I’d to take my dad to hospital the next day. I decided to phone my mum. My daughter’s nanny. She didn’t believe in suicide. She’d no time for people in my past who she viewed as selfishly ending their lives, leaving family and friends to pick up the pieces. I felt so sick dialling the number. What a terrible way to deliver news, I prefer face to face but I was not going to leave resus. My daughter still hadn’t come round. Nothing. Just the beep beep beep beep beep …………

My dad waffled on asking if I was all set for his hospital appointment, I remember thinking “shut-up”…… “yes dad, is mum there?” Mum came on giving off about my dad.

“Are you sitting down?” I ask mum “yes”. ” No really mum, are you sitting down?”

She didn’t believe me initially, there were a few aggressive questions, then I heard the penny drop as I relayed the previous nine hours events of our shattered lives. I apologised for telling her over the phone, but she was relieved I’d told her.

Doctors, nurses and consultants were coming and going. Tests were carried out continually. The Emergency Department is very different from the A&E department you visit.

I pulled out the Hudl, I felt I needed to be sure of what I’d seen. It was still open at her page. #emo #cutter , along with various other hashtags, including her age.

I ventured further. An image was in front of me. A persons slashed and bloodied arm. It looked like our duvet cover……. It looked like my child’s arm. It was my daughter. 24 people ‘liked’ the image. This broke me, it broke us both. My husband and I sobbed in each others arms. Suddenly there was a reason for her hoodies always being on. Why had i not questioned her more… I’d put it down to her teenage hormones. She’s become like the Harry Enfield and Kathy Burke characters – Kevin and Perry. Some days you were afraid to make eye contact. It had been more than that. In hindsight everything becomes clearer.

A doctor came and talked to her. No response. Eventually he placed his fingers on pressure points on her neck. He told us not to worry. She moved and made a noise.

She needed a bed, urgently. She needed care and attention. Simple enough, except she was 14. The Children’s Ward wasn’t appropriate for her due to the level of care required, she needed to be on an adult ward, but as she was only 14 she required a side ward, and so the search began.

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A Mother’s Story – Part One.

Posted on July 22, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — Leave a comment

Sometime ago, Vixens was contacted by the woman whose piece below you will read shortly.  She would not consider herself a writer, but yet felt compelled to write her experience after watching a news report.  It was moving reading, sent to us in parts – the way we will carry it over the next few days.  We have of course agreed to anonymity, due to the sensitivities concerned.

We are aware that reading such experiences can be traumatic for some people, if you feel you need to you can contact Lifeline (NI) on 0808 808 8000 , or in ROI, 1life Suicide Helpline on 1800 247 100 .

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Having watched the report on BBC Newsline by Tara Mills on 2nd July, I feel compelled to write about my own experiences when dealing with Teenage Mental Health Issues in Northern Ireland today.

On Tuesday, 25th March, my life, my husband’s life, my family’s life changed forever.

I had asked my husband to wake our 14 year old daughter at 7.20am. I could hear him calling her name. Then I heard him call my name.

Internally I screamed “Can he not do anything I ask?” and sighed.   I stomped up the stairs muttering and yelling every step of the way.

“I can’t wake her?!?” I heard him say as I flicked passed him on the stairs.

I went over, shaking her and telling her “enough is enough!” , “Stop carrying on!” I lifted her up. Still nothing. I kept thinking ‘wow, she’s really playing this well today.’

Our house phone rang and my husband went to get it. Early morning calls were never a good sign.

I dragged our daughter out of bed. I could hear my husband shouting down the telephone, a new record, a 7.25 sales call!!!

I stood my daughter up on her feet, she was a dead weight. She dropped like a stone. I screamed at my husband to call 999.

“What shall I say?”

“We can’t wake her”

I tried to lift her up so many times, i wanted her to move, I wanted her to respond, I wanted her to talk\yell\scream\fight back ………..anything. Just a tiny sign of life.

“What are the symptoms?” the operator asked

“Barely breathing, dilated pupils, totally non responsive” came our reply.

“Try not to get upset, she may hear you”

Try not to get upset…seems simple – doesn’t it? But, when you are looking and holding your 14 year old daughter’s lifeless body it’s very difficult. I have to admit, i was rubbish at pulling myself together. We took it in turns to get dressed. The operator never left us as we waited for our ambulance.

The crew arrived. They started working on her immediately. They were asking questions. What were they talking about, my daughter wouldn’t have taken drugs.

“Go and check her room, for anything”

We obliterated the room. What were we looking for? Drugs. We were looking for drugs.

We went back to the ambulance crew, we found nothing.

They couldn’t stabilise her breathing. We needed to get to hospital.  A crew member checked her bedroom for clues. Nothing. That was good, wasn’t it?

Before i stepped into the ambulance, i asked a crew member to step outside “what are the signs for drug taking, is she displaying them?”

“Yes”

I climbed into the ambulance. A crew member showed me my daughter’s arm. “Do you know what these marks are?”

I look.  “Is that not where she was lying on her sheet?”

“Ok” came the reply.

I sat down on my seat. Put my seatbelt on. The crew continued to work on my daughter.

I removed my seatbelt, stood up, I could hear the words “let me see that again?”

Self harming. I was looking at self harming. My daughter had scars up her arm. Not deep, but definitely scars

“…..she’s been cutting herself”

“did you not know?”

“No”

“Has she tried to kill herself?” I hear myself asking.

“We think so.”

Blue flashing lights …….. sirens ……. and idiots, don’t forget the idiots on the road during rush hour.  People pulling out in front of the ambulance from side streets. Racing the ambulance off the roundabout.  Not moving into the inside lane on the carriageway. Blocking the filter lane into the hospital!!!!!! Next time you see an ambulance, ask yourself this – what if your loved one was behind those closed doors. How would you feel watching a society not paying any heed to basic highway code rules. It’s amazing what you think about in the back of an ambulance, especially when your daughter is struggling to breathe.

Meanwhile my husband is travelling behind us, alone in his car.

The crew ask me to go to reception as they take her into the Emergency Department. When I return to the ED I’m taken to the relatives room. Suddenly I’m having flashbacks from Casualty. Why was I here? A doctor comes in. He works in resus. He gets down on his knees beside me. I’m still thinking about Casualty. My husband bursts through the doors.

She wasn’t dead. Phew, unlike the television, the relatives room doesn’t necessarily mean death –  but they believed she attempted suicide. What tablets are in the house? Could we go home and count missing tablets? What could she have taken?

Nine hours in resus. Nine. Her machine flatlined on four occasions, my husband says five – we don’t argue this statistic. Have you ever been in a hospital, listening for the reassuring beep, and it’s not there?

Part Two of this story coming tomorrow.  If you would like to contact us, or send through your own pieces of writing for Vixens, honestdigest@outlook.com

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Magaluf – “Anti Feminist” to protect young women? Don’t think so!

Posted on July 14, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — 3 Comments

Yesterday, an article written by Eilis O’Hanlon appeared in the Sunday Independent on the subject of the young woman who has now become known as ‘Magaluf Girl’. It made this blogger think. The title was given to a young woman after a video of her performing oral sex on more than 20 young men in a nightclub in the resort on the Spanish Island of Majorca popular with teenage holidaymakers went viral, and people tried to subsequently identify her as a result. Some of the internet comments were judgemental, full of outrage, and undoubtedly hurtful.

In contrast, the article yesterday was measured in tone, pragmatic, and sensitive to the situation this young woman found herself in, in terms of infamy the morning after the night before, when thousands of people, fuelled by curiosity, viewed the links to the video posted on social media sites. It’s well worth a read before reading on and can be found on the Sunday Independent site here.

I was one of those people who clicked on the Magaluf video link. I have no problem admitting I was nosy initially, but it left me feeling very sorry for the young girl. I also felt that it was an incredibly ill advised thing to do. For both the young woman, and the 20+ boys who got their members out in full view of the other club revellers, and now, as it turned out, the internet. Whoever filmed and posted that video should take a good look at themselves. Don’t even get me started on the “genius” who thought it would be a good idea to encourage that in a nightclub in the first place.

Most of the reaction to the article in question was positive, one or two from the left wing brigade of the feministas who hadn’t read it, jumped on the faux outrage bandwagon and took issue with the fact that the writer suggested that rules, or showing young people how to behave would help to protect them in an age where internet exposure means that any such action could end up similarly going viral and humiliating those in question… “Rules would have protected that girl in Magaluf – from hypocrisy; from exploitation; but also from her own confused and mislaid self”. When we pointed out to one outraged tweeter that this was in no way “slut shaming”, but rather a sensible approach to the topic, this site was accused of being “anti feminist”.

Firstly, Vixens is a collective of women who write on whatever they feel they wish to. We, like feminists are not a homogenous group. Every individual has their own opinions and views. Some are feminists, some not. The conclusion though that somehow a group of female writers must all be feminists and on left wing message, raises an interesting question about how both females and males view a site written exclusively by women, and gives a slight insight into how that microcosm expands the larger the group becomes. We’re not all feminists, and have never claimed to be, though admittedly, some of us identify with the f word (left, centre and right).

The other issue that was raised, and which is never properly addressed, is how the left feminist circle views those with more conservative feminist views, and the video in Magaluf is a perfect example. I challenge any woman to look at themselves and honestly answer the following question. Would you like your daughter to go on holiday, and apply herself to giving blow jobs to as many as she can do in an allotted time for a free drink? I very much doubt it, just in the same way as you wouldn’t like your son queuing up, taking out his penis and asking to have it sucked by the said female in front of him, while being egged on by those around him.

You wouldn’t want it happening, because as a parent, you try to protect your children through life. Your “job” is to try and instill enough respect in your child, both for themselves, and others around them. It’s about responsibility, and hoping that values instilled will stand them in good stead to come through life relatively unscathed, if such utopia exists. That isn’t to say that this writer is criticising the people involved. It’s done, and some, when the drink wore off may have found that they had a very good night indeed. But, in the cold light of day, it would be hard for anyone to wake up and think to themselves that that was the best idea they ever had.

Those who say that the woman in Magaluf can do whatever she likes with her body and anyone who states otherwise is somehow conforming to patriarchal structure, miss the point entirely, and shirk their responsibility to society. Yes, the woman in question was free to do whatever she liked, as were the males in that bar. There is no getting away from the issue, though. In that situation, in an act which in that context is viewed as a usage of females to confer a quick thrill for a male, there is something very sad about it – and equally so regarding what came afterwards for the girl. There is a distinction in how both the female and the males were viewed and treated when that video went viral. To be clear, that is completely unacceptable. But why is the context of Magaluf sad? Because society, both female and male, sets itself boundaries in which most self regulate, and the whole issue of the Magaluf episode finds itself stretching even the most liberal mind. That’s nothing to do with patriarchy, and everything to do with self worth, and choices which will help rather than hinder, aimed at people going through life learning from what has gone before. It’s also about learning how to protect yourself, and to minimise risk.

Wouldn’t it be a much better lesson for those who identify with the feminist label to pass on knowledge to the next generation of females in every area of life? No one is saying that people should say “you cant do this” – but rather, “if you do this, then the likely outcome is x, y or z, and the choice is yours.” The best gift that young females can be given is to be informed that they are in control of their own life, choices and body. Somewhere along the way society has forgotten to add in that with each choice comes responsibility, and consequence, and feeling. To beat your chest and exclaim loudly about “the patriarchy” every time a similar situation arises is to negate your own responsibility to those who come behind, and does a great disservice to those young people who would maybe think twice about the effect such behaviour may have on them when the drink and euphoria and peer encouragement wears off.

Life is hard enough for young people. For them to navigate their way through, knowledge is invaluable. The best feminist response to that, would be to pass it on, take a responsible approach and teach responsibility responsibly. Without it, we are unconsciously excusing the sort of behaviour which makes life ultimately more risky for females both at home, and abroad.

To have such a view doesn’t make you any less of a feminist, but it does make you a realist. And its inherently more helpful for women to hear it, because it may just help them to feel valued, and to think out strategies for when they find themselves in such situations. As one tweeter put it, there is nothing wrong with trying to dismantle patriarchal structure while also warning of potential dangers to girls. So, just why are some feminists attacked when they do?

Posted in Politics

The Jayne Olurunda Blog. “He tweets – but does he twitch?”

Posted on June 28, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — 1 Comment

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I have always been a bit dubious about twitter. By all accounts twitter could be a vicious place so with that in mind I tended to stay clear. Eventually though I became a little bolder and braved the twitter world. I’m no saint but I believe there is a time and a place for everything and that twitter isn’t always the best platform for self-expression. Some tweeters have taken their opinions too far, they forget that even cyber space has its limitations. Justifiably then, they found themselves on the wrong side of the law. But even those who remain on the right side of the law can take tweeting a tad too far.

I am not talking about trolls here for they are all too obvious, instead I am talking about those who inhabit that vague space between expressing their opinions and trolling. The arm chair critics that are downright nasty when they get behind a keyboard. For the purposes of this article I shall christen them the ‘twitches’.

Twitches come in many shapes and sizes, twitches come from all walks of life from the highly intelligent right through to the simple minded. Based on my observations (non-scientific I have better things to do with my time!) the vast majority of them seem to be male. I spent a few days seeking out twitches and my analysis drew me to a ratio of 8:2, men being in the lead! Twitches revel in a juicy pieces of gossip, the news of someone’s downfall, a good online argument and of course having a voice in a world where they are seldom listened to. In any other public arena the vast amount of twitches would be ousted, as spiteful, malicious and bullies. Yet in twitter which is also a public space the twitches bask in their own little rays of cyber sunshine.

Why these men feel the need to twitch is beyond me, perhaps they feel twitter is a safe arena to express their hidden bitches. It would look out of place in a workplace, on a lad’s night out or wherever they congregate so they keep them in. They store them up in their little minds until they are safely behind a computer, tablet or mobile phone screen. Then they let loose, boy do they let loose. It is different for many of us women, we tend to talk on the phone and meet friends on a regular basis. As such we don’t have that build up, the dormant frustration of supressing ones inner bitchiness for too long. As such the majority of our tweets show a little more restraint we generally don’t twitch, we don’t need too. Instead we watch, sometimes with great amusement as the twitches take to their stage! You see twitches suffer from a disease called cyber constipation, they are filled with nastiness, and twitter is their only laxative. It has become their forum for the relief of pent up bitchiness.

My personal introduction to the twitches came earlier this year and you guessed it, the vast majority were men. Nasty, mean spirited little men who rubbed their catty little fingers with glee as they tweeted their sanctimonious bile. We think it therefore we should say it seems to be the predominant attitude of the twitches. My twitches weren’t too bad, I got off lightly and even managed a laugh from and with some of them. Yet my experience proved that these men would make any coven jealous. Did they upset me? For the most part no, in fact they encouraged me to withdraw from all things twitter, which is a good thing for those with a life! I now keep my opinions and discussions for face book where I can monitor and approve those I interact with. Twitter is now simply a means to follow friends, interesting people or causes. I do follow the odd twitch but that is for my own amusement!

How to respond to the twitches? Ignore or better still employ the ‘don’t follow me, I’ll follow you’ attitude! Another handy tip comes from a fellow vixen who introduced me to a clever little button called block. Since blocking my twitches, twitter is again a safe place. BUT what if the twitches get a little more serious than bestowing us with their misguided opinions? What if their tweets become hurtful or sinister?

Well this has happened to many people, one in particular is a fellow vixen. She was bombarded in a serious twitter attack from many twitches. They kept their words within the law. Other than their ‘lawfulness’ and I say that loosely, they didn’t hold back. I watched in the space of one day exactly how malicious twitter can be. It seemed group attacks are acceptable online. She had been called names, her father called a spy and her friend’s paramilitaries. I ask you! Here is one of the tweets in question;

‘Your vindictive, vengeful ‘law’ flies in the face of conflict resolution. You are a petty spiteful woman.’

I could go on but you get the gist. If these twitches were to level such insults to her face I would imagine they would be in a little trouble by now, so why do these people feel it is ok to insult someone or to harass someone over the internet?

My only explanation is something which I am sure everyone has noticed. We tweeters and many twitches exist in incestuous cyber worlds. We tweet the same audiences daily, the circles where the twitches move are by in large composed of the same circles their followers are in. As such twitter becomes circular, you can tweet or twitch until your heart is content but you are tweeting to your already converted circle. Change your audience and I expect the result may be less retweets and a little more outrage. But why would any twitch do that? After all it’s safer to twitch to those who will agree with you. You see twitches are a lot of things but most of all they are ‘brave’.

I hope no twitches are reading this but if you are enjoy…. I will prepare myself for the onslaught! If expressing your nastiness from behind a keyboard makes you feel important then feel free. Remember though those words you write cannot be erased and someday you may regret them. As a preventative measure how about you peel yourself from the computer / tablet / phone, step back count to ten and think… is what I am about to say constructive? How will it reflect on me and how will it affect others? If the answer to either of those questions is negative then stop, restrain those vicious little fingers. By all means express your opinion, but how about you tone it down a little?

So fellow tweeters the moral of my cautionary blog is to take advantage of the block button, try to follow people who possess a modicum of morality and remember twitches come in any shape or form so be vigilant. The twitch species is predominantly male but don’t rule out female involvement. Once spotted the all too common and illusive creature deserves no response, no chit chat a simple death by blocking will suffice. Lastly if you take anything from this blog remember to tweet not twitch!

*Disclaimer: No twitches were harmed in the writing of this blog. If you too are effected by similar issues it is recommended you use the block button – liberally.*

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@jayne_legacy

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Ann Allan : Maybe I’ll get some wisdom teeth.

Posted on June 25, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — 2 Comments

 

 

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I had been attending the dentist for years, having my check up every six months, and hadn’t needed any dental work. So it came as a bit of shock when, with my mouth wide open and unable to speak, the dentist informed me that I had receding gums. ‘ Wah dos at ean’? I asked. Why does a dentist start talking to you when you can only answer in Swahili. Well I think you may need implants he said, otherwise your teeth will become loose and eventually fall out. This will make your chin drop and you will be unable to chew. Pictures of an ugly old hag were floating in front of my face. Didn’t take long to discover I was looking at my reflection in the dentist’s light but with the thought of eating being a problem I panicked. Implants? Was I going to look like Ryland Clark? Would I ever be able to speak properly again and what was the pain going to be like on a scale of one to ten? I had noticed a few teeth a bit loose. I was still able to munch my way through a steak but I had to face the truth, I was old and I needed new teeth. At least things had changed. False teeth had moved into the twenty first century and it was no longer necessary to have dentures that you kept in a glass by the bedside.

An appointment was made with a well known clinic in Belfast. The waiting room was so plush that I thought I might actually book in and spend a few days there. This is going to be pricey I thought. I had my consultation with a very nice dentist. I was then taken for an X-ray. It was a small room and I had something like a bit put in my mouth. I had to bite on it and an outer ring revolved around my head taking a photo of my gums. In a few minutes the X-Ray was up in front of me and the dentist was confirming that my bone density was decreasing and my only option was to have seven teeth removed. There were then two options. One was eight implants or two implants and a bridge. I was advised that a dental plan would be sent setting out the options and the price.

A couple of days later the plan arrived and for the price of the first option I could have bought a reasonably sized family car. For the second option, a smaller sized car. The family could envisage seeing their inheritance in my beautiful new set of teeth. However I conveniently shoved the letter in a drawer and put it to the back of my mind. I’d think about if later.

On my next routine visit my dentist enquired how my assessment had gone. Er fine, I muttered, embarrassed by the fact that I was procr… procras… putting off the decision. I was also having a few niggling pains and the realisation that I couldn’t put it off any longer was beginning to sink in. By this time I’d managed to mislay the original letter so I requested a copy. This arrived followed by a telephone call from the clinic, by the end of which I had agreed to go back and see the consultant. This time I brought the hubby so that he could ask questions that I might forget. He was more impressed with the large wall mounted TV in the waiting room. After a chat with the nice dentist I agreed that option 2 was the least traumatic. Ok so I’d be badly bruised around the neck and chin area. After my holiday from hell I could cope with a bit of bruising, couldn’t I? It was arranged that I would come in in a few days time and have a scan. This was to make sure that I had enough bone density to put in the two implants.

The night before the scan I didn’t sleep. I tossed and turned. I phoned next morning cancelling the scan. A letter had also arrived that morning asking me to sign my acceptance of the procedure. Unfortunately it gave the downsides as well as the benefits and the imagination went into overdrive.

Knowing I had to make a decision I did what I thought I would do if I was having work done to my house. I’d get a second opinion. I contacted another well known private clinic and explained what I was looking for. They quoted the price of a nice day out at a spa, plus lunch, for the consultation. I thought that was a bit steep but I assumed that the assessment would be on the same basis as the first clinic. The price there for a consultation had been more like the price of an intensive manicure and half the price of this clinic. Instead after a brief sweep around my mouth with a gloved hand I was told what I already knew. I needed implants. It lasted half an hour and there was to be no follow up recommendation with quotes. Big son kept trying to face time me during the consultation as I had forgotten to turn my phone off. This was embarrassing to say the least, as every time I cancelled the call, he tried again. Six times in all. The consulting room was unbearably hot and I was realising I had made a big mistake. I paid the exorbitant consultation fee with a heavy heart and left feeling like a sixty five year old woman who just been trying to put off the inevitable. So that’s where I am at the moment. I need to plan a six month period in the near future when it won’t matter if I have no teeth, temporary teeth, two implants, two implants plus bridge and learning to talk ‘ proper’ again in more or less that order. Hubby can’t suppress his delight. No nagging for six weeks. I’ll let you know what happens…

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When the crime of rape visits your door.

Posted on June 22, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — Leave a comment

 

Photo used with permission @kateyo

Photo used with permission @kateyo

 

A protest has taken place today at the house where a  convicted rapist was reportedly living, in the Beechmount area of west Belfast.  Edward Connors, 20, raped an American tourist in a west Belfast forest park five years ago when he was 15. Connors, a member of the travelling community, was handed a three year suspended sentence yesterday at court after he failed to notify police of a change of address on dates between June 18 and 27, 2012 and he also failed to notify police that he intended to leave the jurisdiction on dates between July 13 and 26, 2012.

A sign stating “Sex Offender should not be released / resettled into our community”, was taped to the door of the house, while another stating “rapist not welcome” was fixed by local people to the front gate. Protests are to continue at 7pm nightly, until the community receive assurances that the man in question is no longer living there.

There is no denying that Connors attack on backpacker Winnie Li, who later waived her right to anonymity, was brutal.  The then 15 year old teenager threatened the woman at knifepoint and raped her twice. Doctors who examined her found she had 39 separate injuries.  He received an 8 year jail term, and was granted bail twice, despite breaching it on different occassions. The criminal justice process was small comfort to Li, who has written about her experience in both the Belfast Telegraph, and the Huffington post.  Connors dangerously attacked, and raped Li in broad daylight.  It was a horrific act, shocking the local community at that time, so much so, that 200 local people (of which I was one), showed their solidarity with the victim in question at a gathering in the forest park.  (Gerry Adams was there that day calling for action, which is slightly ironic, given what later transpired about his own action / inaction and knowledge in relation to his brother, who was also later convicted of rape.)

But, it begs the question.  Just where does the local community at Clowney street expect Connors to go?  Anywhere other than their street?

Here’s the hard truth.  Rapists and sex offenders live within our communities already.  We just don’t know about most of them.  Most incidences of abuse take place either within the home, extended family, or by a trusted individual who the family knows.  Chances are, there are a good many in Beechmount already, just like in any other housing estate.

Connor’s risk will have been assessed by those who are tasked with such matters.  It is arguable that his risk will be managed better, with stability, and regular contact with agencies.  His barrister outlined previous difficulties his client had in hostel accommodation which led to his breach of bail.

People in England, and in America have been calling for knowledge for years through Megan, Sarah and Clare’s Laws respectively, to know where rapists or paedophiles live in communities, so that they can be aware, keep their children away, and monitor themselves.  In some cases it has led to “vigilante justice”, but those cases are much outweighed by the fact that people convicted of rape can go on to resettle, without coming to the attention of the courts again.

It’s a horrible thought, and no one if they are honest, wants a rapist to be living next door. Some of us don’t know that some are already in our midst.  Send them all to an island?  The Catholic church tried sending paedophile priests to an island before, and not only did it not work, but it increased the risk of reoffending as priests living there cross contaminated each other.

They have to live somewhere, and much better that the community knows what the offences are, and how the risk is monitored, than just simply moving the problem somewhere else where risk could potentially be increased. Agencies should work with local communities to hear concerns, and adjust their resettlement plans accordingly.  Protests demanding relocation are not the answer. Awareness, and proper therapeutic treatment for those who have deviant sexual behaviours, is.

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A Question of Husbandry or The Cow’s tale.

Posted on June 19, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — Leave a comment

Top marks to Jimsnu for a detailed list of questions.

wasthatmee's avatarRead the Small print

The Following was offered to both Vixenswithconviction and OTR. I don’t think holding it back as requested is a good idea.

 

I read with interest the Slugger O’Toole interview with John McCallister and would ask both O’Toole and VixenswithConviction, who posted NI21’s statement, if the following Points could be clarified by one or both? Perhaps John or the Executive could help?

I am neither a Party member nor do I know the complainant involved. I ask purely as one of those who voted for NI21 candidates in the May Elections. Like some 10,000 others I believe we are owed some sort of explanation of the points I’d like to highlight.

In Slugger O’Toole:

 John states that a complaint was made to him. Was this a verbal complaint or in writing? Was the complaint made to him in person by the complainant? Was there any allegation of Criminal behaviour which…

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AUTHOR JAYNE OLORUNDA MOVES TO ALLIANCE PARTY AS BOOK IS RELEASED WORLDWIDE BY IRISH PUBLISHERS MAVERICK

Posted on June 18, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — Leave a comment

Vixens are delighted to host this Press Release re Jayne Olorunda. Well done Jayne.  

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FORMER NI21 council candidate Jayne Olorunda has revealed she has joined the Alliance Party.

Her announcement comes as Irish publishers Maverick release her book Legacy worldwide on all digital platforms.

Jayne, 34, from Belfast was just two years old when her father, Nigerian born, Max Olorunda was killed by an IRA incendiary bomb which detonated prematurely in Dunmurry aboard a train from Ballymena to Belfast in January 1980.

Legacy tells the story of how her family lived with and continue to live with the aftermath of her father’s tragic death.

Earlier this year Jayne joined NI21 saying she had found her “political home” but quickly because disillusioned by the disorganisation and lack of experience throughout the new party.

Now, having experienced the political arena in a “baptism of fire”, Jayne says she understands the process much better and feels that an established party such as Alliance can offer her a stable political home.

“I left NI21 straight after the election by email on May 25, after this many events began to unfold and the party seemed to be imploding.  However, I still wanted to be part of something that stood for change and that’s why after speaking with representatives from the Alliance party I became a member of the party.”

But before she considers any more major political moves Jayne said she’s concentrating on getting her story out there so that she can help others in similar situations.

She said: “Maverick took the book on as soon as I sent it to them. I was looking for an Irish publisher and one that doesn’t shy away from real issues.

“Looking at Maverick House’s other books  I knew they were right for Legacy and Legacy would sit well with them. I feel really privileged to be one of their chosen authors.”

For more information about Legacy log on to http://www.maverickpub.com or download a copy on all digital platforms including Amazon, eBook, Kindle etc…

 

 

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NI21 – Part Three

Posted on June 16, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — 1 Comment

Vixens has previously reported in Part One, that legal advice was given that the party executive wished to follow.  Following that, and due to people asking questions about what the nature of the legal advice was regarding why that organisation should not be brought in, Vixens has obtained a letter sent to John McCallister from the Executive on the 15th May

“Please find attached independent specialist legal advice that was sought today.
You will see that the legal advice is that it is wholly inappropriate to include a non-member of staff in an employee process such as the Carecall procedure. It is more appropriate once an actual complaint has been received that we hold an independent investigation.
Since the executive are acting in a vacuum of information, in that, we do not know the nature of the allegations nor the context and John is unwilling to share that information, it becomes very difficult to come to an informed decision.”
The letter further goes on to outline what steps should be taken, if and when a complaint is received, and reminds Mr McCallister that should he wish to instruct Carecall it would be a personal decision.
John McCallister did instruct Carecall, stating “My entire focus is about following my responsibility about the duty of care to staff and nothing else.”  As we reported on Friday, Mr Mc Callister has alleged that the Carecall report was stopped by the Chair of NI21, something which the party has denied.
Speaking to Vixens tonight, an NI21 member said : “Allegations of sexual impropriety, such as those levelled against Basil Mc Crea are a very serious matter.  Everyone should be entitled to a fair and impartial process.  However, to protect the party  – without prejudice to either complainants or Mr Mc Crea, like any good employment guide will tell you – and to follow good practice to ensure the party handled it correctly, the legal advice should be followed.”
Another party member told us that members were “sick sore and tired”, of how things played out in the media at the time of the elections, and disheartened people working hard on the ground. “It was awful.  We knew that people who we trusted were briefing the media, and that made it worse, and then everyone got caught up in a situation not of their making.  We felt deflated and exhausted, and it looks to me that far from a cover up, people worked around the clock trying to ensure that the matter was handled sensitively and fairly.”
Vixens NB:  Carecall have an excellent reputation in employment related matters, and in particular in providing support and counselling when they are engaged in an organisation – the advice above, is solely related to whether or not they should be instructed for non employees.

 

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BREAKING : NI21 Executive statement in full.

Posted on June 16, 2014 by vixenswithconvictions — 2 Comments

FIRST WITH THE NEWS…

Vixens has decided to publish the following statement in full as a second part to our exclusive blog yesterday,  following a number of questions which were tweeted to us today. 

 

Clarification regarding Statements made by Mr John McCallister about NI21

 

Contrary to the statements issued by Mr McCallister, we should like to clarify the circumstances surrounding the recent Carecall involvement with staff at NI21.

Carecall were initially contacted by Mr McCallister without any consultation with the NI21 executive or the party leader, the executive were informed by him of his contact with the organisation after it had happened. 

This has been confirmed by Carecall.

As no complaints or allegations had been received about Mr McCrea – confirmed by Mr McCallister himself in writing,  the executive took legal advice on how best to proceed to investigate what Mr McCallister described as ‘rumours’.  The legal advice was very clear that approaching Carecall to investigate this matter was ‘wholly inappropriate’ and that other courses of action should be followed.  This advice was passed to Mr McCallister, who chose to ignore it and the wishes of executive, who wanted to abide by that legal advice and proceed accordingly. 

Neither the NI21 executive nor party commissioned this work by Carecall, therefore, contrary to Mr McCallister’s statement, we do not have the power to stop it.  Mr McCallister initiated the investigation, therefore all matters to do with the content of the enquiry and interviews have been discussed only with him and not with the executive.  

Details of this entire process have been given to the media and other individuals either through direct interviews or leaks throughout the past number weeks.  We believe this is a wholly inappropriate and unprofessional way in which to conduct such a matter and therefore we could not possibly have any confidence in the independence, fairness and accuracy of the process, nor indeed the motivation behind it.

The executive would prefer that any potential allegations – should they ever be received – be investigated under proper legal advice, by a wholly independent body reporting solely to the executive on conclusion of the process and not in what appears to be a piecemeal fashion to those who would seem to wish to make personal political gain through the media.

The executive have sought and continue to seek, proper legal advice on how to proceed, but would also encourage any member of staff who has a genuine complaint to make about his or her treatment should do so using the proper procedures outlined in their contracts.  We understand Mr McCrea is initiating separate legal action.

Given the serious nature of these events, the motivation behind them, their timing and the inevitable consequences of the same on the party, the election candidates and the results, the executive, as well as reviewing any allegations against Mr McCrea, is currently considering what disciplinary action may need to be instigated against Mr McCallister.

As this matter is now the subject of various legal proceedings, we shall not be making any further comment on it or giving any interviews at this time.

NI21 Executive Committee

 

 

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